Funky Town

I've been in a bit of a funk again this week.

I injured my knee on Tuesday during a run and had to limp home.  Sniveling all the way.  Seriously, if I miss out on completing my first marathon in February I will punch someone in the face.  And then cry.  Ok, I probably won't actually punch someone, but I will cry.  That's my defense mechanism   I don't get angry, I cry.  I'd be useless in an actual fight.  I'm a wimp.  If someone hit me I'd be down on the ground, crying angry tears.  Well anyway, mum and I are going supposed to be running 21kms tomorrow morning so this will be a test to see how I'll hold up.  I've been really looking forward to this because after this week, every weekend long run will be the furthest I've ever run.  There is something so fulfilling about achieving something you've never done before.  It puts me in my happy place.

I've been looking for ways to lift me out of my funk, because it's an awesome time of year and I don't want to spend it absent and grumpy.  Plus I know there is nothing actually wrong with my life, I've got blessings coming out of ears and all that.  One thing I did was put on my Crooners Christmas CD and did some baking with the girls using real butter and fancy sugars.  The kids enjoyed licking the teaspoon of batter I gave them and when they went outside to play I licked the bowl clean.  Well not literally.  I didn't actually have my head in a giant baking  bowl - I did what any self respecting mamma does when no one is looking -  I got that wooden spoon and I scraped every little bit of gooey goodness out of that bowl.  

Yesterday this lifted my spirits...

Phil is threatening to eat their cake.  This photo cracks me up every time.  Caity looks deranged.

And I've been finishing up my Christmas shopping, with only one mohawked helmet for the deranged one to be secured.  

It's all been working but I knew I needed a bit more happiness.  So Taryn and I took Eli out today and we gave out some joy.

I loved watching as Taryn shyly slid up to strangers and thrust a mini gift their way. I loved the smiles on their faces as they realised what she was doing.  I'd like to think that this random act of kindness had an impact on their day - perhaps putting them in a good mood.  Perhaps they passed their smiles to others who in turn passed their smile on - a happy butterfly effect.   I'd really like to teach my kids how good it feels to be kind and giving, and I hope to do that through little actions like what we did today, but also through everyday situations - being thankful, giving praise, thinking of others.  I imagine that we all want that for our kids.  For them to be....well, good.  I know that in teaching them, I too can learn, as I search for opportunities to show them what my interpretation of a good person is.  It's a constant work in progress as I am still so far from the person I'd like to be.

I'm working on it.